Saturday, July 21, 2012

   This is what am i about to look forward to. Walking off a ledge. There is so much fear but that's what it takes to start over again. I have always been one for adventure and am so grateful for this opportunity. A part of me mourns my adolescence and even college when adventure was continuous, the hope in something new, the wonder of what the future will hold and who you will become and just around the corner is a new adventure just waiting for you to bump into it. As a college graduate of 3 years I can safely say...working life and adulthood gets mundane at best and the sense of adventure I once had, I once carried as my banner, is no more. And I miss that me.
Enter Eurotrip. But first I will be quitting my job. YES!! Fear comes into play because I don't have another job lined up and will be living "jobless" for a couple of months while waiting for my sister to have her baby in the first of November so I can nanny while she gets acclimated to having a new born and now 4 children! Im so excited to spend uninterrupted time with my nephews for a couple of go on adventures together, get icecream, road trips, go to the playground, and just generally spoil them with my attention, instead of wizzing out the door in the am and telling them "i cant play because i have to go to work", and seeing them briefly for an hour in the evenings before they go to bed, if i even get home before they go to bed. I cannot believe I have been commuting for 2 1/2 years almost an hour each way to work. Im so ready to have a life again, to get 2 hours of my day back that will not be spent in the car. The only problem is I'm not sure what job I want to have next...I dont know if I want to work in the nursing homes again or what...I am hoping that these next few months (sept-november) will help clear my head and reset my career path.
Looking back at this blog I realize I am in a much different place than when I started this. I needed an outlet for my sadness and my loneliness when my family moved to philly for 6 months over a year ago. Prior to that my boyfriend had broken up with me and my whole world just seemed to be falling apart when my family had to leave me here alone for 6 months. Although it was difficult, I ended up with lots of great stories and a couple of quality friends. Through that experience I grew to love this tiny town instead of resent it, and I learned what living in a "community" really means. Most of all I am healthier now than I have been in 4 or 5 years. I feel like God gave me the opportunity, in fact he almost gave me no other choice but to change my life, again. He always does that. It brings me to tears to know how many times God has pulled me out of my own selfish choices and drawn my heart back to him because I am his beloved daughter and he will have it no other way. God has also brought incredible healing to my relationship with my dad, which may not have taken place without deep intercessory prayer and forgiveness. I wouldn't change anything that has happened in the last 3 years that I have lived here in Virginia.  
On top of god returning my heart and mind to him, he has also provided a way to restore my health. I went to this place in Atlanta recently to get medical tx for my chronic sinus infections, insomnia, to gain weight, and for generally being exhausted all the time and it has made a world of difference. For the first time in almost 5 or 6 years I have the energy of a normal person. I don't feel constantly exhausted all the time. Also, I have kept from having a sinus infection for 5 months, which is remarkable considering I continually got one for a whole year prior to this.

Here is one of the places I am most excited to visit....I will be here with my backpack and another adventure seeker from gradschool in just over a month!!!

Cinque Terre, Italy

 “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain