Venting.

So project fat girl is on. I'm currently 102 pounds (i keep dropping weight gradually)...and am trying to gain at least 10-15 pounds by January (in order to fill out my bridesmaids dress mo betta); I'm currently in the process of going to the Dr. to make sure all is healthy and am going to try to increase my caloric intake throughout the day. I really hate looking this skinny and I don't think anyone looks good this small.

Also- random thought, that I've been thinking a lot about this week; I really get sick of being mothered all the time. Sidenote: Ofcourse I live with my sister and her husband who frequently mother me as 2nd nature and it drives me absolutely insane. I don't understand why they can't treat me as a peer instead of a child, because that is my perspective of how our relationship should be. I don't know if other people feel like they are constantly being mothered by there family (although I think this is pretty natural), friends, and co-workers all the time! I don't get it, I'm quite capable of all sorts of things...why do people feel the tendency to tell me how to do common sense things all damn day?! I wasn't born yesterday. I find myself a really easy person to get along with, am too nice most of the time, and maybe a little absent minded and have a poor attention span...but aren't most people sort of this way? I am just trying to figure out what it is about me that makes people feel like they should tell me what to do. In fact maybe everyone tells everybody how to do everything all the time and I'm just being oversensitive or something...I can't gauge this at all.

It's times like this when I miss my ex-boyfriend. He was the one person who pretty much never "mothered" me or felt the need to tell me how to do something or what to do in my life, and the times he did I could count on my fingers  (in fact he tended to waiver at the opposite end, by not sharing his opinions unless I specifically elicited them. In fact there was a  lack of general openness that likely led to our ultimate break up...but that's water under the bridge now). The point is I always felt safe, not judged or stupid around him. It was one of my healthiest friendships/relationships in that way.

 I hope to meet someone else with that same quality because it's important to me to feel respected by my peers and family instead of belittled. 

An awesome thing happened at work today. We get Ipod touches in order to do our billing. Tomorrow we get more training on them and Im hoping we can download APPS to use for therapy sessions with our patients. So excited.